February 2012
6 posts
So many places I want to go to. To store in my head, to walk through and take in everything with my senses.
But…so little time. And from this concept of time I realize how little of it we have. It affirms that we are perishable and that time is precious.
So many matters are because of bad timing and such. It’s sadly hilarious. And most of all it’s heartbreaking because...
January 2012
10 posts
Existence
For me I always thought my life motto was “to love and be loved”.
But all this time. To be loved has already been done by Him. Now, I just need to love. Love like he has.
Today. I learned that scars may run deep and that the enemy may win many many battles in our hearts. But where do we focus our heart? Do we believe that such scars are too big of a problem for God to heal? Do we...
Loving like He has Loved
I find Christianity to be funny in the aspect that a lot of the problems are seemingly simple, but incredibly difficult. The answers are right in front of us but we don’t see it. For example. How do we love?
We strive to love like he has loved; with an open heart, mind, and unconditional positive regard. Is this impossible to do for everyone? Without a question, extremely difficult....
This is probably a bad idea but I opened the ask me thing.
nothing but bad timing.
The train’s coming…you have to think of what you have to do, what lies ahead. You worry, sweaty palms. You shake like the rails, nervous, anticipating, excited? What lies in store?
The train’s slowing down. Time’s almost up. You don’t know where it’s going. You have to trust it or you’re going to be stuck here for a while. Do you trust it? Yourself? Are...
December 2011
17 posts
IT’S SO DIFFICULT
As we approach the holiday seasons, I know it’s a time to give thanks.
Thanks for all the things we have. Things we are privileged with, and despite all the things and stuff we’ve been through, thankful for the opportunities to grow. It’s hard seeing the bright side, but honestly, do you want to look at the dark side and mope? Logically. No. But we do for some reason. Wallowing...
Good to be home
west coast best coast.
As much as I tell people and myself to be real. It’s really hard to show it. We’re so self conscious. Or. I am.
It’s difficult showing weakness, when we are such prideful people. To acknowledge the problem is step one of the healing process. We know it’s a problem. Rarely do we choose to address it though. Intuitively, if we’re doing something wrong, is it...
Censoring me now.
No one will know. Keep your image. Carry on.
Reflection
…to whatever part of me died tonight. It was a good thing. No. Nothing more. Forget you. Good riddance.
I’m only fooling myself. It’s sad that I know it but that I can’t move on. My finger hovered over that call button so many times this week…over your name. I wanted things to feel like things for normal again.
The sense of normal. That level of joy that I will...
Winter
I need coffee. I need many things. I’m not sure what good a coffee would do now…maybe just sleep but today is just a huge day.
Time has gone by and I can see why people say “time heals all”. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. To me, I think of emotions as I believe in the “conservation of mass”. You’re angry? It won’t go...
November 2011
16 posts
Anger that cannot find a place to rest.
The festering wound that turns sour from time to time.
All consuming rage.
It’s okay to be angry right? Angry that you never gave me a fair chance. Angry that…you listened to someone else, and not me. Didn’t even ask me. The problem itself.
this is why i hate the night
because all that’s left awake is me, myself, my mind, and these memories.
Sitting at the gate...waiting for the plane to...
It feels like I’ve come a long way. This Thanksgiving break has been many things. A battle between myself and others. It’s been trying and I almost gave up. Where would I have been? But it’s useless to think of would ofs and could ofs. Regrets. I have many. But we can’t take back time. Time. Such a curse yet it is what life and growing is dictated by, our tempo. We choose...
I didn't...
even get to try.
Unhappily happy
but i’m trying. these dreams aren’t helping at all. trying to be thankful. and through thankful…happy. as selfish as it sounds, when i count all the blessings i have, i can’t help but to think of the things i don’t have as well.
This place that I'm in...
…I’ve definitely been here before.
It should be comfortable but I’m fidgeting around, I should be quiet but I’m dying to scream all the things I want to say again. It should be a new hope, but I’m still clinging onto the aspirations of old.
So…
…now I remember.
That this was how it felt like. To kill love because there is no other way to continue...
home bittersweet home
as i’m typing here because i’m letting louie (my dog) use my pillow for a bit…i have a melange of feelings that i’m trying to decipher. the ride in the confines of a dark lonely plane while tired, mad at being delayed and having to sprint to my connecting flight across the airport and getting there a minute before they closed the door, happy i made it….left me to a...
God...
…you have spoken to me. And I rejoiced…rejoiced over the good news that it is Your love alone that is eternal among all human material goods and feelings. We all die and thus nothing shall matter until we reach that eternity.
…
Then…why does it hurt so much to try to follow your words and forget about the pain? Why does letting go hurt so deeply?
in these times of trouble i find my true support.
brothers and friends. i couldn’t have survived the past couple of days without you guys. without you guys, i would probably be at the bottom of some gully.
“what was different when you wanted to jump then and now”
well. you guys.
so.
thank you guys a lot. from the bottom of my heart.
“Love is sustained by mystery and crumbles upon inspection”
– Love’s Executioner Irvine D. Yalom
Watchgoddamnitreddas:
suckmyphallus:
angelsdontbreathe:
jinnix:
charliessock:
t-stansetis:
grimdarkprimrose:
weirdkanjigirl:
nutellaavenger:
zillybooradley:
cupcakemonstahh:
-jordo:
Everybody watch this.
just watch.
Watch and learn.
Stop what you’re doing and watch this.
Ooo, this is on my dash again! Not that I’m complaining, this is a wonderful video.
never not...
love is a funny thing
it’s something that is happiness embodied. and we work hard for it. it’s funny how when it runs out people throw up their hands and surrender rather than work as hard as they did in the beginning to gain it. is that taste so sweet that when it runs out we refuse to work back to it? do we see it as a perishable good that cannot be grown back, something limited and...
It’s come to that time where I question everything.
I asked for it. But the way things fell in place. What was I expecting? It’s like confronting your murderer “just shoot me now” and he says “naw later”.
The feeling of being given the finger, figuratively. You shrug it off but it burns in you. Especially when the finger is coming from someone you never saw...
October 2011
1 post
